His wonderful Art Work

Watching the sun rise is such a wonderful surprise, colors of oranges and pinks makes you just wanna sit back and think.
What a wonderful God we have to paint us a beautiful portrait without any ink, Winter,Spring, Summer and Fall he creates a masterpiece for all to enjoy.
You can feel his love with every stroke from the clouds to the sun his work is never done, He is always creating life in one form to another all we have to do is open our eyes and see his wonder.
As the day goes on the sun goes down he will paint in his moon and stars. As he cleans his brush for another day he also washes are our sins away.
Alls we have to do is believe in him and walk with him and be apart of him.
By S.Bonter

HEE HAW

I seen these dogs and had to laugh, how funny. Which we need a little of that about now. Family has been having some issues that is trying out our faith and our family love. We will hold together and get through this with GOD and our LOVE for one another.

When one door closes it opens another, when you put your hand in mine we can do anything together, when I walk in his steps his strength is my reassurance that all is good through his grace.

Another Day

The grass is still wet from the evening night.
The flowers are awakening and stretching for the morning light.
As the day goes on and sun begins to warm a new day has been born.
Birds begin to sing as yet another day begins.
Kids are out having fun- Running, skipping leaving out no one.
Climbing trees to their tops- laughing, playing and rolling in the grass
with day dreams that summer would last.

Once again evening appears and darkness begins to fall, fireflies begin to appear taking flight, stretching their wings and lighting up the night. Crickets begin to sing to one another, an evening breeze bring close to yet another. Good night I say looking unto the moon wondering what tomorrow will bring me.......This time I just might sleep til noon
By Sandy Bonter

All test Negative

Today Jeni and Randy got the best news ever, Kyle tested negative for everything and he is healthy, JOY and PRAISE the LORD. He is getting big and I still have no pics (sorry). Me and Amanda go back to the doctor tomorrow, she is going to have her lungs tested as well. Alls I can do is PRAY that she will be fine. She is also having her blood sugar tested. So tomorrow will be a long day.

A little common sense

Well I learned the hard way not say certain things on blogs, lets just say the hard way and I am very embarrassed. So a little common sense is a good thing, in my case (ALOT OF COMMON SENSE) is appreciated. I have a habit of speaking my mind and this time I feel that I not only crossed the line but I embarrassed someone I hold very dear to my heart, I wont mention names but she knows what I mean by all this. So on that note I will start thinking before I start pecking away on my keyboard and get my head bit off.

My new Nephew

Kyle was born June 13, 2006 a healthy little boy (ofcourse another boy). I was not able to be there because I am now on sleeping medication so I was not able to drive @ 1am to the hospital. How ever my mother went and actually watch him being born. I went up as soon as I gotten out of work the next day, He was in ICU for awhile so I got to go in and hold him there. He is so sweet and cute.
I was informed a couple days ago that the Dr. Called Randy and Jenny and told them that they need to bring him in the doctors because a test came back positive for Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia. I really cant explain what it is but if you look it up on the internet you can read more about it. He is suppose to go the doctor today and we will know more.
Randy's clan seems to be getting bigger and bigger: Aaron,Matt,Tiffany,Dakota,Hunter,Chase and now our new baby Kyle..... Do I need to day anymore? Didn't think so. I cant image have that many children (WOW)
Well as long as they are happy and health that's all that matters. I love them all. I will get a picture of all them and post as soon as I can

Summers here and I have stepped out

God I love summer, I cant seem to get enough of the sun. I love everything about including the storms. Now there is nothing better then a hot summer night with a Thunder Storm. What is it about it that literally makes me smile? Because I do know how dangerous they can be.. I don't know maybe its the lightening and the rumble of the earth after it strikes, you feel it in your bones, or maybe IM just weird.....(now that's a thought) LOL
What a wonderful gift God has given to us and we take it for advantage everyday, An earth that has so much beauty and I will probably never see it all. Where would you go if had the means to go anywhere? I myself would love to go to Australia I want to see the kangaroos, then I would want to go to the rainforest to see all the wonderful plants and flowers that God gave to us, there is so many places that I would love to see but I know that is impossible so alls I have left is dreams.

What is COPD?

It is Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease that is what my mother has along with emphysema because she has smoked since she was 16 years old. She also has problems with her heart now on top of all that but that is not why IM writing today. Friday I went to the Doctor and I was given some bad news. I now have COPD and the beginning stages of emphysema, No I never smoked in my life. It is caused from second hand smoke, Yup you heard right second hand smoke. I go to a specialist in a couple weeks and they will look at my lungs further. I now have my 1st inhaler (yuk) didn't quite work the way as I thought.

As I went on the internet to read more about this disease I found out it is the 4th killer of Americans in the world. All this because of smokers, IM glad I went to the Dr. And I am now being treated. Take the time and make sure that you go to your yearly exams, it just might save your life I believe it may have just saved mine. Go the web and put in what is COPD?

She has left me behind

Today Samantha has left me behind, she has decided that we would get along better if she moved out and into her aunt Wendy's in Mason. It feel like my heart is being squeezed to death, I cant stand the thought of her living away from me. She is so hard to get along with, which is all my fault I brought her up as my equal and not as a daughter, I wasnt hard on her when she did things wrong and I didnt put my foot down when I should have, so now that she is older and I want to have some order in my life she has this leverage over me that why be a mom now...

When she was growing up I put too much thought in the fact that I was a single mother trying to raise a daughter that I treated her like a friend and leaned on her when I should have been mothering her. So here I am complaining that she is wanting to spread her wings and be away from me and her sister she is only 17 years old but she has a mind of an 20year old.

I only have myself to blame and plenty of time to try and make up for all the wrong that I did...
I miss you Sammy, I love you and Im sorry for not being the mother I should have been when you needed it the most.

Happy Birthday Samantha

Happy birthday my wonderful daughter, its not quit your birthday yet but I knew I would be too busy in the morning to blog. 17 yrs ago you came into this world, my precious gift, you gave me a hard time trying to get here but you made it and it hasnt been the same since. I cant even explain how I felt when I held you for the 1st time. This wonderful gift that God gave to me to care for, he must of felt that I was ready for this journey. Here you are this beautiful, young and smart lady all because he felt I could do it. We have had our hard times through the years but it has made us stronger and God doesn't put you in situations that you can not handle. If anything to remember from me is hold you head up high, be honest and love yourself and your family with all that you have inside and God will smile down upon you and help you along through life just as long as you ask him. I love you Samantha

I can see myself in those eyes

Ever wonder how 1 child looks just like you and another looks like the stork delivered them. When I look at Amanda I literally see myself, when I look at Samantha I wonder where did she get her looks from. Amanda is funny she is now wanting to look like Sam, even to the point of flipping her hair to side like sissy use to. I didn't grow up with my sister like these 2 are but I bet it would of been fun. I have Danielle, Saundra and Brooke- I wish I could have grown up around them I think it would of been great. I miss them and I love them as if we were always close. I feel odd being the oldest of all my siblings and yet know so little about them, its time to make some changes and get to know them and my brother David I have a whole another family that I need to know. I want my girls to love and take care of one another when I am gone, so I feel that I should set an example to them and get to know my family.

Mirror Mirror on the wall

When you look into a mirror are you looking at yourself in vain or just looking at an image? I know when I look into a mirror it seems as though I am looking at every flaw of myself, I see dark circles under my eyes (too much work) my hair starting to turn gray and freckles I see an old woman. When I look at this picture of Samantha I wonder if I was ever that pretty and did I even think I was. She is so pretty and full of life, she is ready to go to prom with a friend of hers. It took all day to get her ready. I did her hair and make-up and that was enough for me. She had a nice time with her date and was in the house by 12:00am (thank god). When I took this picture I thought that I would be cute to have a picture of her looking at herself then when it was developed I almost wanted to cry she is a beautiful young woman with her whole life ahead of her I hope some day she will be able to look back on this and see that she is as beautiful as I see her.

Today I shed my tears

Have you ever had one of those days that you just felt like crying, everything seems to get to you for no reason. Today must be my day I woke up feeling fine but out of no where I just felt like breaking down crying, I feel sad today. The clouds have been hanging around for almost a week now, every once in while the sun will try to shine through but it never seem to stay long. I think maybe my mind is trying to tell me something, that maybe I just need a good cleansing of the soul, let me cry for all the reasons that I cant explain, let me cry for Jesus who died for my sins, let me cry for his mother who not only lost her son but watched him die on the cross for other peoples sins, let me cry for myself that everytime that I may sin Jesus died to forgive me. I will weep today in his name "Jesus Christ our Lord"

Happy Mothers Day to all you MOM'S

What did you do today on Mothers day? Well I worked, came home cleaned the house made dinner and now here I am.....I dont need anybody to fret over me today, my little libbie bought me a dozen pink roses and Sam bought me a fern w/ big huges and kisses, that was all that I needed I dont need to be told 1 day of the year that I am appreciated, I know I am everytime I look at one of my girls. I called my mother and told her Happy Mothers Day and she sounded depressed. I gotten a gift and a card which I gave to her yesterday because I knew I had to work and I really wanted to just relax when I came home. Now I feel guilty for not dotting over her today or even inviting her over for dinner. We spend alot time together, almost every day and I just wanted to be alone with my girls today- Is that so bad? if not then why do I feel sad? My brothers have nothing to do with my mother and I feel like it is my responsibilty to take care of her and make sure that she is happy. Sometimes I fall short in that area and it really bothers me. We only have 1 life and 1 chance to get it right, but I am only 1 person and what is most important to me is my kids and making them as happy as they make me.

Still Reading

As I said in my previous post I am reading the Bible. Im half way through exodus, this may sound weird and some people could be easily offended by this but I read a lot of romance, fiction and suspense books and when I say this it will sound out of this world but oh my god the Bible is the best love story and suspense full book I have ever read and Im only in exodus. I am so excited everytime I pick it up because Im not only doing something I love to do but I am also reading GOD'S WORD'S and that to me is one of the most important things I have done in my life.
So if I have offended anyone I am sorry, but I will keep reading on

Compassion needs no Invitation

Samantha's Friend Mikey lost his mother the other day, she had a heart attack at the young age of 43. Samantha will be going to her funeral today to pay her respects to him and his family. We seen a friend of theirs (Sam & Mikey) and asked him if he was going to the funeral and he said he wasn't invited, it struck me as an odd comment. INVITED, I don't think people are usually invited to a funeral its something that we do to show our respect and compassion to the loved ones family. We show our COMPASSION on our selves that day knowing that at anytime and at any moment we too may die or lose a family member or a friend. When Christ died on the cross was anyone invited to morn over him? No, but his followers were there for him and they showed their compassion and love for him. Just as we should do for our own family and friends.

I have often through the years picked up the Bible with the intension of reading it from beginning til the end and I hate to say that I have failed so many times. I set a goal for myself to start reading again, not to rush through it to say I too have read the full Bible but to gradually read and understand it. It took my 3 days to get through Genesis and I struggled but I did it and I am proud of myself.

Never ending laundry

My day off and I am working harder at home then I usually do at work, just kidding but it sure does feel like. Today it seemed as if there was black hole in the laundy baskets it seemed to never end. Thank you to whom ever it was that invented washing machines and dryers. I cant image what it was like having to go get water from the well or the river just to do the wash (YIKES). I am defintly a child of modern day inventions thank GOD. Maybe someday the way things are progressing I wont have to do laundry anymore, we wake up get out of bed and the used bed will disapper in the floor and up pops a fresh new clean and made bed for another night, we would just have to reach in the closets there would always be clean clothing awaiting for us. What an imagination or was it the Jetsons that warped my mind.

Meet my Libbie

This is Amanda, we call her libbie which is her middle name. She is 10 yrs old and has a heart of Gold. She is so soft hearted that there are times I just want shield her from all the bad in this world. She has this kindness that I cant explain it is almost Angelic like. She had another sister that was a half sister (Kayla Rolland) they shared the same father. Amanda never meet Kayla before she died, however odd it may sound she has always talked of Kayla as if she knew her and had a relationship with her. I have often wondered if Kayla was now Amanda's Guardian Angel. You have to meet Amanda to see this in her she has a natural glow to her and I know with all my heart that she possesses this natural Faith in Jesus.
Amanda is about to come to another point in her life of losing her older sister Samantha, Sam is moving out and moving to Mason, MI with her Aunt Wendy. Although it will only be about a 2 hour drive away I feel that it will be very hard on her they have lived in the same household all her life and now she will not be here often. Samantha will be 17yrs old in May and is wanting to leave home, I am thankful that it is only to her Aunt Wendy's, most teenagers that want to leave home just runaway and end up on the streets, so this move is a good move, and good terms with each other. But how will this effect Amanda? I am not sure but with being honest with her and knowing she will come home every other weekend I feel will help her. I dont want her heart to ache anymore.

Letting it all go

I have been thinking a lot about what we do in life that effects others, it maybe something as simple as a smile to someone who has had a bad day and just cant seem to pull themselves out of a rut. When I am at work I like to call my caller by their first name while I speak with them, it lets them know that you are truly paying attension to what they are trying to tell me. I work for an Answering Service of Medical and Commercial accounts. I have been their 9 years now. I have learned the company inside and out, I truly enjoy my job, I like helping people. I get calls from distraught parents that need me to be calm for them, once I give them my full attension and they know that I am there to help them they start to calm down themselves. I let them know that I am there to help them and get them the attension they need. After my call is done I often feel as though I may have just helped someone in need and made a difference.
Anybody can do this you just have to let it all go and live each and everyday as if it were the last, when it comes time for me to go to Heaven I want to go knowing that I done the most I could do in life, even if it is just a simple smile to someone having a bad day

Finding my way to the light

I was lost not just once but several times, how is that possible you ask well its fairly easy when you don't want anyone to find you. I have had many years of wanting to hide, not just from people in general but also from myself. I have been in several ugly relationships and I lost myself somewhere in between, I had to find myself I am a mother of two daughters and I don't ever want them to go through what I have.
Its so easy to go inside your self but its a lot harder to come out. Sometimes when the hitting would start I would just let myself go, I could feel the pain but it was almost as if it wasn't me going through this, its just a shell you can abuse it all you want but you cant take away my dreams, my loves and most of all you cant have me...My heart is racing just thinking of how weak I was, how could I allow a man to hurt me like that how could I allow him to take away my identity. I thought I was strong I thought he can only hurt my shell not my soul but I was wrong he took everything and then just left me there to beg for forgiveness, why was I begging? For what? I didn't do anything but yet I was the one who had to apologize.
The bruises and the cut lips are easily disguised with a dab of covergirl to the rescue, don't want anyone to see how bad you are that maybe you actually deserved the abuse.
It was when I went to a job interview with 2 black eyes, so swollen that I looked like I went a round with Mike Tyson and lost, I was so ashamed and humiliated I could barley even see, I rode the bus that day to the mall, people just looked at me and then turned their heads, I told another rider I was in a car accident, and now that I think about it I don't think that they actually believed me, but it made me feel a little better, I was actually given the job, however Im not too sure it was because I did well during the interview or that they felt sorry for me. What ever it was I had a job and I felt great, even though I didnt look it.

Time to HEAL

Mountains are very beauitful and another one of GODS creations. It may have not started out as big but it slowly grows and grows until one day it is this big wonderful pieace of earth and people look at it in an awe. I feel like a mountain I started out small with no purpose with the feeling that nothing mattered to me but as time has gone by I too have grown and had to make changes and sacrafies to be a good parent. I have lost my way several times and turned my back on those who loved me. I fell off the path and as in most mountains do they have valleys (paths) and where one ends another picks up and sooner or later they all end up at the top of this wonderful mountain. I want to be the ROCK for my girls.
I have recently tried to mend a path that I had pretty much destroyed with my father and my stepmother. I didnt exspect them to forgive me for what I had done to them, and I was rather suprised to get a reply from an email that I sent to them both. It took a few times to read it because the guilt and hurt all came back so fresh to me that I couldnt hold back the tears. We will build a road together so that we have a relationship again and that is very important to me.
There is a long story to our lives and one that I would like to write about someday so that others can understand what I was going through at the time and to answer some of the questions that most of my family could never understand about me.
The saying that time heals all thing that are broken is very true and I am living proof that GOD is a forgiving God, because if he didnt want me where I am today he would of never let me gotten this far. There is a reason for everything: That which doesnt break us with make us stronger. I hold true to those words as if they are my own.
I am a stronger person and I can do it all on my own with the help of JESUS in my life and in my house.

The sun is out, why am I so depressed

I don't understand why I feel so sad lately, work is going well so I don't feel that it, my girls are in good health and happy, my bills are paid and I have a new car so what else could be bothering me?
IM going to be 37 yrs old Monday and I still haven't found my nitch in life. My oldest daughter is going to be 17 yrs old in May and I cant get over how fast they grow up. Maybe IM afraid of her leaving me soon I just couldn't put my finger on it.....Until now
Yes we have all the things that make us happy except for the most important one JESUS. I cant explain it how I feel when I think of him or how it makes me smile when I think of the wonderful gift he has given us, eternal life.
My father and his wife are very faithful and loyal to JESUS and it makes me happy to say that they are my family. I want to walk that same path that they are and grow into a true, faithful follower of JESUS. It is going to take time and prayer but I do believe I will make.

Prom Dress Shopping

Well Samantha and I will be driving to Pontiac Friday to buy a Prom Dress. Her friend asked her to his prom (David). He is a senior and they are just good friends. She is growing up so fast that it makes me wanna cry, she is such a beauitful young lady and full spirit.... She went to Prom last year with another one of her friends and I can see these next few years of High School is going to send me to the poor house.

Me and my Girls 

Spring is on its way

I love it when the sun is out and the sky is blue is afar as the eye can see. Although it is only March and we all know that it is likely we will see snow again.... As much as I love the snow I will be glad to see it go, I like the feeling of life starting all over again the birds in the trees and the squirrels come out and seeking those last few nuts they hide just before winter began. As spring begins and the tree start to bud and flowers reaching for the sun we even want to shed our winter skin and go outside and put our faces toward the sun and smile. Thank you GOD for all that is good.
The house has been closed up all winter and I cant wait to open all the windows and let the breeze come in and cleanse out the stuffiness. Welcome my friend its nice to have you back I look forward to our warm days to come I enjoy having you in my life SPRING

Life goes on

Well we didnt get the house and to be honest Im really not that upset, Why? well I would rather pay off all my bills and start from scratch. Better to learn the hard way then have it all come crashing down on you and lose everything. The girls are all right with the out come, however that means Sam continues to sleep on the couch at night. Which makes me very sad.
She has a room in the basement and its very cute but is very cold. I have suggested that she share a room with Lil'libbie but thats not going to ever happen--that is another story

Trying to buy a house

I'd like to say that I've always been a responsible adult, I unfortunately was not so there for now that I want to buy a new home for me and my girls I have run into a little trouble with my credit....No one to blame just myself, so these next few weeks will show how determined I am to buy a home and heal my bad credit scores.....(joy)
I really want this not just for myself but for my girls as well. They deserve a home to truly call their own....

Sandy

Hi, my name is Sandy and Im 36 yrs old, I am a single mother of 2 and one is a TEENAGER (yikes). We seem to all get along and I enjoy being a mom. I use to think I needed a husband in order to raise my girls and I now know that is not at all the fact. I feel that I am doing better then most 2 parent familes. I work hard to support us and I wouldnt change a thing.
I am simply HAPPY