Happy Birthday Samantha

Happy birthday my wonderful daughter, its not quit your birthday yet but I knew I would be too busy in the morning to blog. 17 yrs ago you came into this world, my precious gift, you gave me a hard time trying to get here but you made it and it hasnt been the same since. I cant even explain how I felt when I held you for the 1st time. This wonderful gift that God gave to me to care for, he must of felt that I was ready for this journey. Here you are this beautiful, young and smart lady all because he felt I could do it. We have had our hard times through the years but it has made us stronger and God doesn't put you in situations that you can not handle. If anything to remember from me is hold you head up high, be honest and love yourself and your family with all that you have inside and God will smile down upon you and help you along through life just as long as you ask him. I love you Samantha

I can see myself in those eyes

Ever wonder how 1 child looks just like you and another looks like the stork delivered them. When I look at Amanda I literally see myself, when I look at Samantha I wonder where did she get her looks from. Amanda is funny she is now wanting to look like Sam, even to the point of flipping her hair to side like sissy use to. I didn't grow up with my sister like these 2 are but I bet it would of been fun. I have Danielle, Saundra and Brooke- I wish I could have grown up around them I think it would of been great. I miss them and I love them as if we were always close. I feel odd being the oldest of all my siblings and yet know so little about them, its time to make some changes and get to know them and my brother David I have a whole another family that I need to know. I want my girls to love and take care of one another when I am gone, so I feel that I should set an example to them and get to know my family.

Mirror Mirror on the wall

When you look into a mirror are you looking at yourself in vain or just looking at an image? I know when I look into a mirror it seems as though I am looking at every flaw of myself, I see dark circles under my eyes (too much work) my hair starting to turn gray and freckles I see an old woman. When I look at this picture of Samantha I wonder if I was ever that pretty and did I even think I was. She is so pretty and full of life, she is ready to go to prom with a friend of hers. It took all day to get her ready. I did her hair and make-up and that was enough for me. She had a nice time with her date and was in the house by 12:00am (thank god). When I took this picture I thought that I would be cute to have a picture of her looking at herself then when it was developed I almost wanted to cry she is a beautiful young woman with her whole life ahead of her I hope some day she will be able to look back on this and see that she is as beautiful as I see her.

Today I shed my tears

Have you ever had one of those days that you just felt like crying, everything seems to get to you for no reason. Today must be my day I woke up feeling fine but out of no where I just felt like breaking down crying, I feel sad today. The clouds have been hanging around for almost a week now, every once in while the sun will try to shine through but it never seem to stay long. I think maybe my mind is trying to tell me something, that maybe I just need a good cleansing of the soul, let me cry for all the reasons that I cant explain, let me cry for Jesus who died for my sins, let me cry for his mother who not only lost her son but watched him die on the cross for other peoples sins, let me cry for myself that everytime that I may sin Jesus died to forgive me. I will weep today in his name "Jesus Christ our Lord"

Happy Mothers Day to all you MOM'S

What did you do today on Mothers day? Well I worked, came home cleaned the house made dinner and now here I am.....I dont need anybody to fret over me today, my little libbie bought me a dozen pink roses and Sam bought me a fern w/ big huges and kisses, that was all that I needed I dont need to be told 1 day of the year that I am appreciated, I know I am everytime I look at one of my girls. I called my mother and told her Happy Mothers Day and she sounded depressed. I gotten a gift and a card which I gave to her yesterday because I knew I had to work and I really wanted to just relax when I came home. Now I feel guilty for not dotting over her today or even inviting her over for dinner. We spend alot time together, almost every day and I just wanted to be alone with my girls today- Is that so bad? if not then why do I feel sad? My brothers have nothing to do with my mother and I feel like it is my responsibilty to take care of her and make sure that she is happy. Sometimes I fall short in that area and it really bothers me. We only have 1 life and 1 chance to get it right, but I am only 1 person and what is most important to me is my kids and making them as happy as they make me.

Still Reading

As I said in my previous post I am reading the Bible. Im half way through exodus, this may sound weird and some people could be easily offended by this but I read a lot of romance, fiction and suspense books and when I say this it will sound out of this world but oh my god the Bible is the best love story and suspense full book I have ever read and Im only in exodus. I am so excited everytime I pick it up because Im not only doing something I love to do but I am also reading GOD'S WORD'S and that to me is one of the most important things I have done in my life.
So if I have offended anyone I am sorry, but I will keep reading on

Compassion needs no Invitation

Samantha's Friend Mikey lost his mother the other day, she had a heart attack at the young age of 43. Samantha will be going to her funeral today to pay her respects to him and his family. We seen a friend of theirs (Sam & Mikey) and asked him if he was going to the funeral and he said he wasn't invited, it struck me as an odd comment. INVITED, I don't think people are usually invited to a funeral its something that we do to show our respect and compassion to the loved ones family. We show our COMPASSION on our selves that day knowing that at anytime and at any moment we too may die or lose a family member or a friend. When Christ died on the cross was anyone invited to morn over him? No, but his followers were there for him and they showed their compassion and love for him. Just as we should do for our own family and friends.

I have often through the years picked up the Bible with the intension of reading it from beginning til the end and I hate to say that I have failed so many times. I set a goal for myself to start reading again, not to rush through it to say I too have read the full Bible but to gradually read and understand it. It took my 3 days to get through Genesis and I struggled but I did it and I am proud of myself.