I often start to write and then I delete it because I am too emotional with my writing and they are often too personal. But not today I'm just gonna get it out and say what the heck this is me and if someone doesn't like what I've written then don't read my bloggs.... Now with that said I hope this kinda helps those who know me to better understand me (for my true self)
I want to say that I am a single mother of daughters (Sam 18 and Libbie 11) I've been in and out of relationships since I was 15 yrs old and not one of them was a good one. I have what you say very poor taste in men, always seeking love and getting a jerk instead. I only have myself to blame. I have for some odd reason in my life always wanted to be loved, I just ended up looking for love in all the wrong people (not places). Its almost like I know I'm setting myself up for a heart break and then freak out when it doesn't work out. What is wrong with me? why do I feel the need to be loved? My brothers are married with their own families and I'm not saying everything is perfect in their lives but they have someone to lean on, hug and be consoled, I know my kids love me and my family but what about a mate for me, why do I have to been so alone? I know the answer to that question believe it or not. Its because I didn't walk the line God sat out before me, I strayed aside and wanted to live on the wild side and do as I pleased and when I pleased. I'm not saying God is punishing me although I did feel like that for many years but not any longer. I know he is a forgiving God and we as humans are, are own worst enemy and set ourselves up to be hurt. So no I don't blame God for me being alone I blame myself because it was me this whole time making my own decisions and not letting him guide me.
I want to say that I am a single mother of daughters (Sam 18 and Libbie 11) I've been in and out of relationships since I was 15 yrs old and not one of them was a good one. I have what you say very poor taste in men, always seeking love and getting a jerk instead. I only have myself to blame. I have for some odd reason in my life always wanted to be loved, I just ended up looking for love in all the wrong people (not places). Its almost like I know I'm setting myself up for a heart break and then freak out when it doesn't work out. What is wrong with me? why do I feel the need to be loved? My brothers are married with their own families and I'm not saying everything is perfect in their lives but they have someone to lean on, hug and be consoled, I know my kids love me and my family but what about a mate for me, why do I have to been so alone? I know the answer to that question believe it or not. Its because I didn't walk the line God sat out before me, I strayed aside and wanted to live on the wild side and do as I pleased and when I pleased. I'm not saying God is punishing me although I did feel like that for many years but not any longer. I know he is a forgiving God and we as humans are, are own worst enemy and set ourselves up to be hurt. So no I don't blame God for me being alone I blame myself because it was me this whole time making my own decisions and not letting him guide me.
